ADAM SANDLER Toll Booth Willie Lyrics, singer by ADAM SANDLER
[Car approaches]
[Toll Booth Willie:] Welcome to Worchester. Dollar twenty-five please.
[M1:] Hey, how ya doin' Toll Booth Willie?
[Toll Booth Willie:] Good! Thanks fer askin, pop!
[M1:] Aww, that's great, you know, considering yer a fuckin' idiot!
[Pays toll and drives off]
[Toll Booth Willie:] Go fuck yourself you son of a bitch!
I'll come right outta the booth and fuckin' whack ya, you fuckin' prick!
[Another car approaches]
[M2:] Hey, hey, Willie! Hows it going?
[Toll Booth Willie:] Hey, can't complain, pop. Hows 'bout you?
[M2:] Oh, great, great. How much?
[Toll Booth Willie:] The state charges a dollar twenty-five, pop.
[M2:] That's fine. Now should I give you the money,
or should I shove the quarters directly up your fat ass!?
[Pays toll and drives off]
[Toll Booth Willie:] Why you fuckin' hard on!
I'll fucking Carlton Fisk yer fuckin' head with a Louise-ville fuckin' slugger!
Whadya think of that ass fuck!?
[Another car approaches]
[F1:] Hi Willie.
[Toll Booth Willie:] Oh, nice to see ya M'am. Not a bad day, huh?
[F1:] Well, I'm a little lost. Could you help me out?
I hear your the best with directions.
[Toll Booth Willie:] Well I know my way around New England.
I can tell ya that much. So where ya headed?
[F1:] Well, I was just wondering exactly which is the best way
to drive up your ass. You know, if you'd tell me,
I'd appreciate it, you fuckin' prick.
[Drives off]
[Toll Booth Willie:] You fuckin' bitch! Fuck you!
You forgot to pay the fuckin' toll you dirty whore!
I'll fuckin' drop you with a boot to the fuckin' skull you cum guzzling queen!
[Another car approaches]
[M3:] Hey Willie.
[Toll Booth Willie:] Hey, how are ya?
[M3:] Here's a dollar twenty-five, and go fuck yourself.
[Pays toll and drives off]
[Toll Booth Willie:] Dah, you fuckin' prick!
I hope you choke on a fuckin' bottle cap, ya fuckin' son of a fuck!
Eat shit! Eat my shit!
[Another car approaches]
[Bishop Nelson:] Hello Willie. Good to see you.
[Toll Booth Willie:] Ahhh, Bishop Nelson. Nice to see ya.
That was quite a sermon you had the other day.
[Bishop Nelson:] Hey, well I do my best.
[Toll Booth Willie:] Dollar twenty-five, Bishop.
[Bishop Nelson:] Dollar twenty-five,
Willie. Isn't that the same price your mother charges for a blow job,
you piece of dog shit!?
[Pays toll and drives off]
[Toll Booth Willie:] Ohhh! Have another one, you fuckin' lush!
It's not my fault the bartender cut ya off last night ya fuckin' douche bag!
[Another car approaches]
[M5:] Hey!
[Toll Booth Willie:] Well hey!
[M5:] Yeah, do you want the money,
or should I just shove the quarters directly up your fat ass!?
[Pays toll and drives off]
[Toll Booth Willie:] Well, I already heard that one you fuckin' unoriginal bastard!
Go suck a corn you fuckin' piece of repeatin' shit!
[Another car approaches]
[F2:] Hi.
[Toll Booth Willie:] Oh, hi. How are ya?
[F2:] Fine, thank you. How much is the toll please?
[Toll Booth Willie:] For you sweetheart, it's a dollar twenty-five.
[F2:] Here ya go.
[Pays toll]
[F2:] Thank you.
[Begins to drive off]
[Toll Booth Willie:] Hey! Hey! Honey! Would you like a receipt with that?
[F2:] Oh, I almost forgot. Thank you so much.
[Toll Booth Willie scribbling a receipt for her]
[Toll Booth Willie:] And here ya are.
[F2:] Umm, do you think you could sign it?
[Toll Booth Willie:] Oh, uh.. sign it?
[F2:] Yeah, sign Toll Booth Willie was here.
[Toll Booth Willie:] Ok, sure. Uhh, by the way, what is this for?
[Signing receipt]
[F2:] Just so I could have proof for my friends that
I met the biggest fuckin' dip shit with the smallest dick alive.
You understand.
[Drives off]
[Crumples up paper]
[Toll Booth Willie:] Fuck you, you fuckin' upity bitch!
I'll fuckin' fuck you and all your lesbian fish-eating friends in front
of your fuckin' mothers! You're gonna die, bitch! I'm comin' outta the booth!
[Opens the door and runs out of the booth]
[Car screeches and hits him]
[Toll Booth Willie:] Ooooh! My fuckin' leg!
[M6:] Hey! You ran over Toll Booth Willie!
[M7:] Oh my God! I was always wondering what it would be like to run over a
dried up stinky dick licker.
[Toll Booth Willie:] Why you fuckin' pricks.
I fuckin' hear every fuckin' word yer saying!
When this fuckin' leg heals,
I'm gonna kick you guys new fuckin' assholes!
[Everyone cussing eachother out]
[Toll Booth Willie:] Welcome to Worchester. Dollar twenty-five please.
[M1:] Hey, how ya doin' Toll Booth Willie?
[Toll Booth Willie:] Good! Thanks fer askin, pop!
[M1:] Aww, that's great, you know, considering yer a fuckin' idiot!
[Pays toll and drives off]
[Toll Booth Willie:] Go fuck yourself you son of a bitch!
I'll come right outta the booth and fuckin' whack ya, you fuckin' prick!
[Another car approaches]
[M2:] Hey, hey, Willie! Hows it going?
[Toll Booth Willie:] Hey, can't complain, pop. Hows 'bout you?
[M2:] Oh, great, great. How much?
[Toll Booth Willie:] The state charges a dollar twenty-five, pop.
[M2:] That's fine. Now should I give you the money,
or should I shove the quarters directly up your fat ass!?
[Pays toll and drives off]
[Toll Booth Willie:] Why you fuckin' hard on!
I'll fucking Carlton Fisk yer fuckin' head with a Louise-ville fuckin' slugger!
Whadya think of that ass fuck!?
[Another car approaches]
[F1:] Hi Willie.
[Toll Booth Willie:] Oh, nice to see ya M'am. Not a bad day, huh?
[F1:] Well, I'm a little lost. Could you help me out?
I hear your the best with directions.
[Toll Booth Willie:] Well I know my way around New England.
I can tell ya that much. So where ya headed?
[F1:] Well, I was just wondering exactly which is the best way
to drive up your ass. You know, if you'd tell me,
I'd appreciate it, you fuckin' prick.
[Drives off]
[Toll Booth Willie:] You fuckin' bitch! Fuck you!
You forgot to pay the fuckin' toll you dirty whore!
I'll fuckin' drop you with a boot to the fuckin' skull you cum guzzling queen!
[Another car approaches]
[M3:] Hey Willie.
[Toll Booth Willie:] Hey, how are ya?
[M3:] Here's a dollar twenty-five, and go fuck yourself.
[Pays toll and drives off]
[Toll Booth Willie:] Dah, you fuckin' prick!
I hope you choke on a fuckin' bottle cap, ya fuckin' son of a fuck!
Eat shit! Eat my shit!
[Another car approaches]
[Bishop Nelson:] Hello Willie. Good to see you.
[Toll Booth Willie:] Ahhh, Bishop Nelson. Nice to see ya.
That was quite a sermon you had the other day.
[Bishop Nelson:] Hey, well I do my best.
[Toll Booth Willie:] Dollar twenty-five, Bishop.
[Bishop Nelson:] Dollar twenty-five,
Willie. Isn't that the same price your mother charges for a blow job,
you piece of dog shit!?
[Pays toll and drives off]
[Toll Booth Willie:] Ohhh! Have another one, you fuckin' lush!
It's not my fault the bartender cut ya off last night ya fuckin' douche bag!
[Another car approaches]
[M5:] Hey!
[Toll Booth Willie:] Well hey!
[M5:] Yeah, do you want the money,
or should I just shove the quarters directly up your fat ass!?
[Pays toll and drives off]
[Toll Booth Willie:] Well, I already heard that one you fuckin' unoriginal bastard!
Go suck a corn you fuckin' piece of repeatin' shit!
[Another car approaches]
[F2:] Hi.
[Toll Booth Willie:] Oh, hi. How are ya?
[F2:] Fine, thank you. How much is the toll please?
[Toll Booth Willie:] For you sweetheart, it's a dollar twenty-five.
[F2:] Here ya go.
[Pays toll]
[F2:] Thank you.
[Begins to drive off]
[Toll Booth Willie:] Hey! Hey! Honey! Would you like a receipt with that?
[F2:] Oh, I almost forgot. Thank you so much.
[Toll Booth Willie scribbling a receipt for her]
[Toll Booth Willie:] And here ya are.
[F2:] Umm, do you think you could sign it?
[Toll Booth Willie:] Oh, uh.. sign it?
[F2:] Yeah, sign Toll Booth Willie was here.
[Toll Booth Willie:] Ok, sure. Uhh, by the way, what is this for?
[Signing receipt]
[F2:] Just so I could have proof for my friends that
I met the biggest fuckin' dip shit with the smallest dick alive.
You understand.
[Drives off]
[Crumples up paper]
[Toll Booth Willie:] Fuck you, you fuckin' upity bitch!
I'll fuckin' fuck you and all your lesbian fish-eating friends in front
of your fuckin' mothers! You're gonna die, bitch! I'm comin' outta the booth!
[Opens the door and runs out of the booth]
[Car screeches and hits him]
[Toll Booth Willie:] Ooooh! My fuckin' leg!
[M6:] Hey! You ran over Toll Booth Willie!
[M7:] Oh my God! I was always wondering what it would be like to run over a
dried up stinky dick licker.
[Toll Booth Willie:] Why you fuckin' pricks.
I fuckin' hear every fuckin' word yer saying!
When this fuckin' leg heals,
I'm gonna kick you guys new fuckin' assholes!
[Everyone cussing eachother out]
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