ADAM SANDLER The Buffoon And The Valedictorian Lyrics, singer by ADAM SANDLER
And now the buffoon's date at the drive-in with the school's valedictorian.
[Valedictorian:] I really appreciate you're asking me out.
Most people are intimidated by my high academic achievement.
[Buffoon:] This movie sucks shit!
[Valedictorian:] Well, Ebel gave it thumbs up,
but Ciscel thought it was too preachy.
Anyway, I enjoyed the director's last film immensly.
[Buffoon:] Cathleen Turner has big fuckin' tits!
[Valedictorian:] Yes, well, she recently had a child.
I think her maternal biology may play a role in that.
She looks fabulous for a woman her age, doesn't she?
[Buffoon:] I put a firecracker in a bullfrog's mouth and blew his fuckin' head off.
[Valedictorian:] Well, in psychology we learned that it is not uncommon
for male adolescents to commit savage acts on animals as part of their maturing process.
[Buffoon:] That girl in the fucking car in front of us, she gives everybody head.
[Valedictorian:] Well, I guess she's strong for attention and she feels promiscuity is the only way to obtain it.
[Buffoon eating popcorn]
[Buffoon:] This popcorn's fuckin' terrible. It tastes like someone jizzed all over it.
[Buffoon continues to eat popcorn]
[Valedictorian:] Well the amount of semen on this popcorn is certainly disturbing.
Perhaps the staff in the refreshment stand was overcome
by the monotony of their work and decided to play a childish prank.
[Buffoon:] I looked at my asshole in the mirror today. It blew my fuckin' mind!
[Valedictorian:] It's ironic that parts of one's body seems odd
and unusual because you don't see them on a day to day basis.
[Buffoon:] My father's shit stinks up the bathroom all fuckin' day!
[Valedictorian:] It's puzzling why one person's fecal odor can be more overpowering than another's.
I wonder whether it is a function of the food digested or that person's internal metabolism.
[Buffoon:] I'm gonna go get head from that fuckin' girl.
[Gets out of the car]
[Valedictorian:] Well, I'm sorry to see the date come to such an abrubt conclusion.
[Buffoon walking away]
I do appreciate the time you spent with me and look forward to a future rondevue.
[Buffoon:] I like to piss in that guy's fuckin' gas tank!
[Valedictorian:] Bye bye! Have fun.
[Buffoon continues to walk away]
[Valedictorian:] I really appreciate you're asking me out.
Most people are intimidated by my high academic achievement.
[Buffoon:] This movie sucks shit!
[Valedictorian:] Well, Ebel gave it thumbs up,
but Ciscel thought it was too preachy.
Anyway, I enjoyed the director's last film immensly.
[Buffoon:] Cathleen Turner has big fuckin' tits!
[Valedictorian:] Yes, well, she recently had a child.
I think her maternal biology may play a role in that.
She looks fabulous for a woman her age, doesn't she?
[Buffoon:] I put a firecracker in a bullfrog's mouth and blew his fuckin' head off.
[Valedictorian:] Well, in psychology we learned that it is not uncommon
for male adolescents to commit savage acts on animals as part of their maturing process.
[Buffoon:] That girl in the fucking car in front of us, she gives everybody head.
[Valedictorian:] Well, I guess she's strong for attention and she feels promiscuity is the only way to obtain it.
[Buffoon eating popcorn]
[Buffoon:] This popcorn's fuckin' terrible. It tastes like someone jizzed all over it.
[Buffoon continues to eat popcorn]
[Valedictorian:] Well the amount of semen on this popcorn is certainly disturbing.
Perhaps the staff in the refreshment stand was overcome
by the monotony of their work and decided to play a childish prank.
[Buffoon:] I looked at my asshole in the mirror today. It blew my fuckin' mind!
[Valedictorian:] It's ironic that parts of one's body seems odd
and unusual because you don't see them on a day to day basis.
[Buffoon:] My father's shit stinks up the bathroom all fuckin' day!
[Valedictorian:] It's puzzling why one person's fecal odor can be more overpowering than another's.
I wonder whether it is a function of the food digested or that person's internal metabolism.
[Buffoon:] I'm gonna go get head from that fuckin' girl.
[Gets out of the car]
[Valedictorian:] Well, I'm sorry to see the date come to such an abrubt conclusion.
[Buffoon walking away]
I do appreciate the time you spent with me and look forward to a future rondevue.
[Buffoon:] I like to piss in that guy's fuckin' gas tank!
[Valedictorian:] Bye bye! Have fun.
[Buffoon continues to walk away]
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