ADAM SANDLER Cool Guy 1

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ADAM SANDLER Cool Guy 1 Lyrics, singer by ADAM SANDLER

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[SEAN:] Ooh baby, you looking good.

[GIRL:] Thanks sean.

[SEAN:] you got it going on strong, baby. Skin so soft and hair so right.

[GIRL:] I think you're nice too, sean.

[SEAN:] Let me take off this shirt of yours and see that beauty mama has given you. [taking off her clothes]- Ohh, so fine so right.

[GIRL:] Oh sean, you're so silly.

[SEAN:] What's going on with these little silk panties, baby? Slowly, slide them to the ground. [taking down her panties] (Gasps) yeah, baby yeah. That's what I'm talking about.

[GIRL:] It's my turn sean. Let me take down your pants. [begins to unzip his pants]

[SEAN:] Is that what you want to do baby? Why don't you put those soft sweet hands on my Jimmi-jamma.

[GIRL:] ...On your what?

[SEAN:] On my-- on my manhood,... baby.

[GIRL:] No wait a minute did you say Jimmer Jammer before?

[SEAN:] Well I-- I guess I did, I--

[GIRL:] [beginning to gather all her clothes] I got to go.

[SEAN:] No, no, you sure about this, baby?!

[GIRL:] Yeah, later King Jimmer Jammer. [leaves]

[SEAN:] Yeah, Cause I'll... Cause I'll call you. Damn!!! Walking out all naked and shit.

[THE END]

ADAM SANDLER Hot Water Burn Baby

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ADAM SANDLER Hot Water Burn Baby Lyrics, singer by ADAM SANDLER

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[Father:] Well Ryan, tomorrow's a big day. Your mom's coming home from the hospital with your new baby sister.
[Ryan:] baby sister
[Father:] That's right, baby sister.
[Ryan:] baby sister
[Father:] So, uh, I think now is the time for us to go over some safety rules for when you're around your new baby sister.
[Ryan:] safety rules
[Father:] Okay, rule number one: Always wash your hands before touching the baby.
[Ryan:] wash hands
[Father:] Do you know why?
[Ryan:] no
[Father:] Well, because sometimes you have germs on your hands and germs are bad for the baby cause they can make the baby sick.
[Ryan:] germs make baby sick
[Father:] That's right, that's right, Ryan. Germs make baby sick.
[Ryan:] germs make the baby sick
[Father:] Okay, rule number two.
[Ryan:] more rules
[Father:] Don't feed the baby anything.
[Ryan:] don't feed the baby.
[Father:] That's right.
[Ryan:] why?
[Father:] Well, because the baby needs to eat special baby food.
[Ryan:] why?
[Father:] Oh...well, other food is bad for the baby.
[Ryan:] other food bad for the baby
[Father:] That's right, good. Now, rule number three.
[Ryan:] more rules
[Father:] Never take hot water near the baby because hot water will burn the baby.
[Ryan:] water bad for the baby
[Father:] Well, not all water, just hot water,
[Ryan:] yes
[Father:] Cause hot water will burn the baby.
[Ryan:] i don't understand, daddy
[Father:] Okay, see this glass of water that I'm drinking?
[Ryan:] yes
[Father:] Well, this water is okay for the baby.
[Ryan:] yes
[Father:] Here, touch the glass.
[Ryan:] yes
[Father:] See, it's nice and cool.
[Ryan:] yes
[Father:] Now if this was hot water that would be bad because hot water can burn the baby.
[Ryan:] hot water burn baby?
[Father:] Yes, hot water burn baby.
[Ryan:] hot water burn baby
[Father:] Yes, yes, hot water burn baby.
[Ryan:] hot water burn your baby
[Father:] Yes.
[Ryan:] baby can't go in swimming pool?
[Father:] Oh no, the swimming pool is okay. Swimming pool water is cool.
[Ryan:] yes
[Father:] That's alright.
[Ryan:] yes
[Father:] But the jacuzzi is bad because that water is hot and hot water will burn the baby.
[Ryan:] hot water burn the baby
[Father:] Yes.
[Ryan:] hot water burn the baby
[Father:] Yes. Now say you made a cup of tea, would you take that near the baby?
[Ryan:] yea, baby like tea
[Father:] No Ryan, uh, I don't think you get it yet.
[Ryan:] baby no like tea?
[Father:] Well, I'm sure the baby will like tea, but what do you make tea with?
[Ryan:] ...hot water
[Father:] Right, and what did we say about hot water?
[Ryan:] ...oh, hot water burn baby
[Father:] Yes, hot water burn baby!
[Ryan:] hot water burn baby!
[Father:] That's right so no tea near the baby.
[Ryan:] hot water burn baby
[Father:] Yes.
[Ryan:] baby no take bath?
[Father:] No, bath water is warm. Warm is okay.
[Ryan:] yes
[Father:] Hot is bad.
[Ryan:] yes...hot water burn baby
[Father:] Yes, hot water burn baby.
[Ryan:] hot water burn baby
[Father:] I think you're gettin' it!
[Ryan:] hot water burn baby
[Father:] That's right, Ryan.
[Ryan:] hot water burn baby
[Father:] NOW DON'T YOU EVER FORGET THAT!
[Narrator:] 30 year later!
[Wife:] Hey, Ryan, what are you doing out there?
[Ryan:] Just watchin' the discovery channel.
[Wife:] Well, dinner's gonna be ready in about five minutes.
[Ryan:] Aw, great baby, aight, I'll be in in a few momentos. Lemme just wind down...(garbled)
[Wife:] Okay, honey!
[Ryan:] Yeah.
[TV:] The villagers of Pasquan
[Ryan:] Pasquan
[TV:] have a very bizarre and painful way of welcoming their infants into the community.
[Ryan:] [garbled]
[TV:] Unfortunately, the death rate from this ritual is a mortifying 90 percent.
[Ryan:] My God.
[TV:] That explains the Pasquan's low population.
[Ryan:] Yeah, it does.
[TV:] On the first full moon of Autumn, all the Pasquanian mothers wrap their new-borns in traditional hand painted deerskin,...
[Ryan:] Deerskin.
[TV:] ...which have been passed along from generation to generation.
[Ryan:] That's nice.
[TV:] The entire Pasquan population then forms a circle on the sacred battlefield of Chin-Chara.
[Ryan:] ya-yara
[TV:] Each Pasquanian baby is then passed, hand to hand, around the circle...
[Ryan:] Wow.
[TV:] ...four times.
[Ryan:] Four times.
[TV:] Once for the sun,...
[Ryan:] Hmm.
[TV:] ...once for the moon,...
[Ryan:] The moon.
[TV:] ...once for the earth,...
[Ryan:] The earth.
[TV:] ...and once for the wind.
[Ryan:] The wind, too.
[TV:] When the babies arrive back in their mother's hands, they are marched, in procession, to the Pasquanian natural hot springs...
[Ryan:] What?
[TV:] ...where the ceremonial purification will be completed.
[Ryan:] What are you saying here?
[TV:] As we watch, the mothers take their progeny out of the deerskin shells...
[Ryan:] No.
[TV:] ...and dunk them into the steaming water.
[Ryan:] No! No! Hot water burn baby! Hot water burn baby!
[Father:] That's right, Ryan. Hot water burn baby.
[Ryan:] Hot water burn baby!
[Wife:] Ryan! What's going on out there? Are you okay?
[Ryan:] Hot water burn baby!
[Father:] Hot water burn most definitely burn baby.
[Ryan:] Hot water burn baby!
[Father:] That's right, Ryan. Hot water burn baby!
[Ryan:] Hot water burn baby!
[Father:] You are a bitch, Ryan!
[Ryan:] Hot water burn baby!
[Wife:] Ryan, are you alright?
[Father:] Hot water burn the baby!
[Ryan:] Hot water burn baby!
[Wife:] Ryan!
[Father:] What are you gonna do, whore?
[Wife:] Ryan!
[Ryan:] Hot water burn baby!
[Father:] Bitch!
[Wife:] Ryan! What's going on out there?
[Ryan:] Hot water burn baby!
[Father:] Whore!
[Wife:] Who are you talking to?
[Father:] Bitch!
[Ryan:] I'm talking to the man!
[Father:] Whore!
[Ryan:] Hot water burn baby!
[Wife:] Ryan!
[Father:] Bitch! Ryan is a whore!

ADAM SANDLER Red Hooded Sweatshirt

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ADAM SANDLER Red Hooded Sweatshirt Lyrics, singer by ADAM SANDLER

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My mom bought you when I was just 13,
the brightest red sweatshirt I ever seen.
She got an extra large so I wouldn't grow out,
That's too big for you! the other kids would shout.
But we stuck together, we didn't quit,
and now the children say, What a perfect fit.

I love you sweeeeatshirt
red hooded
sweeeeatshirt
dip dip dip
sweeeeatshirt
shama lama ding dong
sweeeeatshirt.

I like to rest my hands in your kangaroo pouch,
it makes them feel comfy like a big soft couch.
And I don't care if the weather's no good,
I say See you later rain as I pull up my hood.
Remember that long bus trip when I needed a nap?,
I used you as a pillow on that Spanish lady's lap.
I love you sweeeeatshirt red hooded
sweeeeatshirt
dip dip dip sweeeeatshirt
shama lama ding dong
sweeeeatshirt.

Oh what is it about you that makes me so jolly?,
Is it your fifty cotton or your fifty poly?

I don't knoooooooww
ohh ohh hoo hoo hoo.

Oh red hooded sweatshirt we been through a lot together
like that time I played in that shirts
and skins basketball game and I had to take you off
and throw you in the corner of the gym.
I was midway through the game and then I saw you looking at me.
You were staring as if to say
Adam, you suck at basketball, you dribble like a damn woman.
I was so mad I challenged you to a game of one on one
and you know sweatshirt, even though I beat you 11 to 9,
deep in my soul I know you missed those lay-ups on purpose.
You let me win and that why I'll forever feel this way.

I love you sweeeeatshirt
red hooded
sweeeeatshirt
dip dip dip
sweeeeatshirt
shama lama ding dong
sweeeeatshirt.

Come on audience members, help me out here.

I love you sweeeeatshirt
red hooded
sweeeeatshirt
dip dip dip
sweeeeatshirt
shama lama ling dong
sweeeeatshirt.

I love you sooooooooooo.

Happy Valentine's Everybody!

ADAM SANDLER The Goat Song

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ADAM SANDLER The Goat Song Lyrics, singer by ADAM SANDLER

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I am a simple goat
I live on the back of a pick-up truck
The Old Man tied me here with a 3-foot rope
Am I happy he don't give a fuck
He's filled with anger, and filled with rage

And tells me I smell like piss
His drink, Jimmy Bean
His chaser, a bear
After that, various alcohols
That's when the beatings get so severe

Asleep I pray he falls
But don't feel sorry for me
Things weren't always this bad
Why, when I was a young talking goat
The Old Man was just like my dad

I come from the hills of Europe
That's where I met the Old Man
He was lost in the woods, I gave him directions
He gave me a tuna can

Then he stopped in his tracks
And he said, Hey Goat!
Would you like to live with me?
I've got a house with a pick-up truck
In a place across the sea
I said, Sure, why not, I've got no family
You seem like a nice guy

So we went off to America
The home of the apple pie
On the boat, the Old Man told me
I would be a present for his wife
A talking goat! he exclaimed,
She'd never seen this in her life
I felt so special!

Well, I just couldn't believe it
After all theses years I finally had a friend
He trimmed my beard
He scraped my hooves
I prayed it would never end

But when we got to his house
There was no wife
Only a short, short letter
It said: I'm leaving you for your broher
Because he fucks me better
His eyes filled with tears of sadness
His heart was filled with grief

To soothe himself he drank a pint of Old Granddad
And beat me like a side of beef
I screamed, Send me back to the hills of Europe!
He just shook his head and said, Nope!
No one will ever leave me again
To make sure, put on this 3-foot fucking rope.

Present day, I've been on the truck for 51 years
My only friend is the AM radio
Sometimes the neighborhood children stop by
But it's always rocks and beer bottles they throw

At first they're excited to see a talking goat
They gather around to hear what I have to say
But I guess sometimes my stories go ont too long
So they leave and giggle I need a bidet

But you know there was a night that I did get off the truck
When the Old Man was passed out drunk
Three neightborhood kids took me to a rock 'n roll concert
The kind of music, old-school funk
It was the first time I got off the truck
The music made me lose control

The lead singer asked if we were having fun
I said, Fucking crank that rock 'n roll!
The women at the show were beautiful
As they danced sexily on the soft grass
One of them even petted my fur
Fuck me in the goat-ass!

Then some long-haired guys grabbed me by the horns
And threw me in the mosh pit
They passed me around and treated me nie
Till I nerviously sprayed them with shit
Then the music stopped
And everything was quite
And all the rock 'n rollers started a fucking goat-riot

Kill the goat!
Kill the goat!
Kill the goat!
Kill the goat!

They chased me under the bleachers
They chased me onto the street
They chased me into an alley
And said I was a dead fucking goat meat
But then I saw a sight
That I never thought I'd see

The Old Man swinging his hickory stick
But he wasn't swinging at me
Fuck you, pot-smoking turkeys!
Don't you press your luck!

The long hairs ran away screaming
As I scrambled onto the truck
When we got home, the Old Man said,
Goat, you broke the sacred law
No! Please! Sorry! Shit!
I'll let it go this time, but if you leave again
I'll break your fucking jaw!
Super! Great! Okay!

Thank you Old Man, for saving my life
Thank you again and again
You could have let them barbeque me,
But you acted like a friend

I'm not your friend, I don't even like you
I'm just not drunk, he said
To prove his point, he drank a bottle of grain alcohol
And beat the fucking shit out of my tailbone
And I'll probably never walk straight again

I guess you'd call me a scapegoat
A punching bag for the Old Man to mock
Just because his wife left him
For his brother's abnormally large cock

He could have been my buddy
But instead he's a crazy old fuck
And, once again, I go to sleep in my eternal home
The back of the pick-up truck

Goodnight, Old Man!
Yeah, goodnight Goat!

ADAM SANDLER The Respect Chant

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ADAM SANDLER The Respect Chant Lyrics, singer by ADAM SANDLER

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Respect
Respect
You gotta show the fucking respect

[Repeat Over And Over]

ADAM SANDLER Voodoo

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ADAM SANDLER Voodoo Lyrics, singer by ADAM SANDLER

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Hey there Mr. Leaf Blower Man
Keep it down for goodness sake
It's way too early in the morning
Can't you please use your wooden rake?
You choose to ignore I
Even though me hungover
That's not being nice
So tonight, your head will be covered in lice

Voodoo spell on you
Voodoo Voodoo
You shouldn't have given that dirty stare
Voodoo Voodoo
Too late for sorry, go cut off your hair

Hey there old, old woman
Shopping for food at the store
Why'd you run your cart into I
And knock me eggs on the floor
Then took the last unbruised cantelope
And laughed so loud with glee
But you won't be laughing
'Cuz from now on it'll burn when you pee

Voodoo spell on you
Voodoo Voodoo
You couldn't have made I any madder
Voodoo Voodoo
That's why I put a curse on your bladder

Boodaloo Boodalay
Boodalee Boodalie
Are the words that he say
When you fuck with I
Voodoo

Hey there Mr. State Trooper
Me was only going 58
Please don't you write up that ticket
It'll ruin me insurance rate
You say you have a quota to meet
So straight to hell with I
Me have only one response
Boodalee Boodalie

Voodoo spell on you
Voodoo Voodoo
You cost I 80 dollars cash
Voodoo Voodoo
Me hope you like your new skin rash

ADAM SANDLER Four Years Old

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ADAM SANDLER Four Years Old Lyrics, singer by ADAM SANDLER

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Hey
Why'd you wake me from my nap?
I'm not in the mood
To play your games
Or sit on your lap

You
Where's my Yankees drinking glass?
I want some juice
And I want it now
So you better move your ass
And feel bad for me
'Cuz I'm just getting over a cold

I'm four years old!
I'm four years old!
I'm four years old!
Somebody better tie my shoes!

Now
I run down the hall
I scream and I yell
And I cry 'cuz I fell
Bring the rubbing alcohol

Outside
I get mud on my shoe
I come back in the house
I get it on the rug
The cleanging's up to you
And I won't take a bath
Unless you make me Spaghetti-O's

I'm four years old!
I'm four years old!
I'm four years old!
Mommy reads to me at night
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

Well
I can't have a job
And I can't go to school
If no grownups are around
I can't go near the pool
I'm not alowed to climb
My neighbor's apple tree
I'm not allowed to sit
Too close to the TV
I don't know how to drive
And I don't know how to spell
But if I hear my brother cursing
I do know how to tell
'Cuz he made me eat some bread
That was covered in mold

I'm four years old!
I'm four years old!
I'm four years old!
I just threw up on my grandmother